Why the [bleep] is Doug Wyllie growing a mustache?
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I’ve had a beard or a goatee for years — at least a half decade in fact. The last day I actually remember being clean shaven was my wedding day — 2,224 days ago (but who’s counting?). A good number of the people I know have only known me to have hair on my upper lip and my chinny-chin-chin. Not anymore. Now when I walk down the hall I can feel the air on my face. About 30 minutes ago, I shaved clean — for kids. Tomorrow begins my journey toward what I believe will be a very unfortunate mustache. For kids. About a month from now, I will almost surely resemble an early 1980s porn star. My appearance, by the way, will be the only similarity I’ll have ever had with any porn star of any decade. I’m doing the embarrassing part. You’ve got the easy part. For every day I suffer this special humiliation, you give me money. Well, not me actually — you pledge money to help those aforementioned kids. It’s mustaches for kids! Got a coffee habit? Well, for the sacrifice of one triple-shot, no-foam, low-fat latte per week for the next month, you can help these kids to the tune of about $11 bucks. You throw down one Hamilton and one Washington, and you get a full four weeks of poking fun at my preposterous ‘stache. Hit the vending machine every afternoon? How about you lay off the Snickers bars once a week and give that cash to a kid. Can you seriously not afford to donate four dollars to a good cause in the span of one month? If that’s the case, you need to navigate your browser over to one of those websites that lists better jobs than the one you’ve currently got. In all seriousness, this is the season of giving, and we all know that there are a lot of people out there a lot less fortunate than you and me. Let’s do something to help them out. I walk around for a month looking silly, you make fun of me until you’re laughing so hard you’re about to toss your lunch, and some kids who need help come out on top of all of us. What do you say? You in? ~ dw BTW: DonorsChoose.org is a 501(c)3 charity. See below for approvals from Charity Navigator and the Better Business Bureau. hide

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Not anymore.  Now when I walk down the hall I can feel the air on my face.  About 30 minutes ago, I shaved clean — for kids.

Tomorrow begins my journey toward what I believe will be a very unfortunate mustache.  For kids.  About a month from now, I will almost surely resemble an early 1980s porn star.  My appearance, by the way, will be the only similarity I’ll have ever had with any porn star of any decade.

I’m doing the embarrassing part.  You’ve got the easy part.  For every day I suffer this special humiliation, you give me money.  Well, not me actually — you pledge money to help those aforementioned kids.  It’s mustaches for kids!

Got a coffee habit?  Well, for the sacrifice of one triple-shot, no-foam, low-fat latte per week for the next month, you can help these kids to the tune of about $11 bucks.  You throw down one Hamilton and one Washington, and you get a full four weeks of poking fun at my preposterous ‘stache.  Hit the vending machine every afternoon?  How about you lay off the Snickers bars once a week and give that cash to a kid.  Can you seriously not afford to donate four dollars to a good cause in the span of one month?  If that’s the case, you need to navigate your browser over to one of those websites that lists better jobs than the one you’ve currently got.

In all seriousness, this is the season of giving, and we all know that there are a lot of people out there a lot less fortunate than you and me.  Let’s do something to help them out.  I walk around for a month looking silly, you make fun of me until you’re laughing so hard you’re about to toss your lunch, and some kids who need help come out on top of all of us.

What do you say?  You in?

~ dw

BTW: DonorsChoose.org is a 501(c)3 charity. See below for approvals from Charity Navigator and the Better Business Bureau.

Start my own page

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Why the [bleep] is Doug Wyllie growing a mustache?
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